Last night's wakeup call

So last night I attended my companies yearly awards banquet to celebrate how awesome we are(yes I did get an award but there's a long story involved in that so don't get me started). Well being that I'm only just over 5 weeks and I didn't really feel much different I thought to myself that I'll just wear my LBD (little black dress), easy and simple, and I can wear it with a pair of my new sequined shoes (which I obviously don't get to wear very often). Great. So I rush home to change (I only have 30 mins to get ready before I have to go) and slip on the LBD. Well slip isn't really the correct wording, more like cram, shove, or better yet stuff! I swear I haven't gained a pound but there was no way that dress was going over my head, let alone zip up.

On to plan B. The only other one that would have been dressy enough and loose enough in the proper areas was a cute one I got from a store in Paris. Well that one is a low cut, empire waisted dress and after 'slipping' that one on I looked in the mirror and my boobs were litterally spilling out and I looked 5 months pregnant thanks to the bloat and the cut of the dress. (Thanks bloat!) I seriously looked like a pregnant hooker. I was running out of options here so I stuffed my body into a Spanx AND control top pantyhose and that thankfully minimized the effect of my bloat baby. The only problem with that was as soon as I put on the Spanx, my body puffed out at the top and the bottom two openings (think of the Spanx being the 'link' in a link of sausages!) Super cute. Now what to do with the boobs. I threw on a cardigan and kept pulling up the waistband halfway over the girls to keep them from escaping all night. The moral of the story is that even though you may not have gained a pound so early on, your body has now gotten wider due to an extra layer of water surrounding your body. Be prepared for your measurements to change right out of the gate!

Once I finally got to the event, I had to come up with a plan to evade the large quantites of drinking that goes on there. I was with a couple girls from work and so we go and wait in the ticket line and I 'forgot' to take out money so I leave the line and 'go find an ATM'. When I get back, oddly enough ;), the girls have already moved on to the drink line and I go up and pay for my soft drink tickets. Then by the time I get my 'vodka and 7-up', the girls are halfway through their drinks and halfway to not noticing or caring what I'm drinking so it worked out great. No one questioned what I was drinking and after 2 drinks I was able to 'stop drinking' without any suspect (I was driving home after the long night). There is none the wiser!

How far along: 5W2D

Symptoms: excessive peeing, periodic cramping, and BLOAT